Read on for a glimpse into my 40th birthday party party. Everything turned out exactly as I had envisioned it 7 years ago and I wouldn’t change a thing!
I turned forty on the 11th of May.
Coming from the school of thought that you either go big or go home, I had never actually gotten around to celebrating any of my birthdays over any of the 39 revolutions I’ve had around the sun.
But at the back of my mind I always knew that my 40th revolution would be the milestone event where I get to go big and slide into my 40s in style. And boy, it was such a joy to see my life long dream become a reality.
A firm believer in raha jipe mwenyewe, I knew exactly what I wanted and wasn’t going to sit around waiting for someone to surprise me with a party of their dreams while I knew what my dream party was.
I also wanted to be in a position to afford every detail that I felt was important to me.
So I started saving for my big day at the age of 33.
In early 2018, I started scouting for interesting 40th birthday ideas for a women in Kenya.
Surprisingly, most of what I came across mostly centered around drinking oneself senseless, strip parties, magic shows, casino parties, and other themes that didn’t really excite me…
To add to my disappointment, I couldn’t find any 40th birthday ideas for a party in Kenya.
Most of what I stumbled across was private parties by celebrities so not much information there.
I wanted the focus of my 40th birthday party to be a celebration of the adventurous and blessed 39 years God had given to me, to be a reflection of who I had become over the years, and some of the passions I had come to embrace over time.
So I settled on a black and gold travel and music themed 40th birthday party.
Soon after, I created a 40th birthday party ideas board on Pinterest where I’d pin any interesting stuff I found on the internet such as 40th birthday cake ideas, 40th birthday party decoration ideas, 40th birthday party photo shoot ideas, etc.
What's Covered in This Article
Pre-party preparations
Hiring a birthday party planner in Nairobi
With the level of detail and sophistication I envisioned for my 40th birthday party, I couldn’t pull it through on my own, and with a full time job and three side hustles.
I came to the realization that planning for the party will be no easy feat.
There would a lot of moving parts leading up to the party, and just as many on the D-day.
I therefore enlisted the services of a Nairobi-based birthday party planner, to take care of every detail for me.
She stepped in and did an excellent job while I sat back and enjoyed myself.
She helped me to identify the location, find and coordinate all of the different vendors, as well as communicate with each of them on the day of the party, set-up and decorate the party venue.
She was also very helpful with the birthday party budget.
I highly recommend her and would use her again.
My pre-birthday photo shoot
Since my 40th birthday fell on a Saturday, I went to church in the morning as is custom and had the party later that evening.
For the D-day, I wore two different outfits.
A purple dress for the pre-birthday photo shoot, and a black one for the main party to match the gold and black birthday color scheme.
To start off the 40th birthday celebration, I treated herself to a pre-birthday photo shoot before the guests arrived.
The make-up
But before the photo shoot, I had a full facial makeover by the one and only Make Up by Mo.
And I think she did a magnificent job.
Considering that my day-to-day look is pretty simple, and that I would rather have ten extra minutes to sleep in hardest I try is a dash of lipstick and a layer of foundation.
So wearing a full face of makeup complete with fake eye lashes, (and that it took a whole 1 hour to pull through), was quite the trip.
While putting in all that extra effort into my look for my 40th birthday was certainly a confidence booster of sorts, I don’t think its something I can pull on the regular.
Mad respect to all ye women out there who put on a full face everyday… Like how do you guys manage to be all glammed out all day all year round?
As for me, I completely stepped out of my comfort zone and will need an entire blog post and video to describe my experience…
The Venue
The following factors were significant in my choice of my 40th birthday party location in Nairobi:
- My 40th birthday party theme was glamour and elegance, so the location had to evoke these emotions.
- Being an Adventist Christian, I didn’t want to be worrying about whether the salad and starter had arrived, while church was in session. So I the location had to be one that offers the full package inclusive of food and drinks.
- I love to dance and most probably would be dancing up to late night. Besides, my birthday falls in May which is the rainy season in Kenya, so the location had to be both rain proof, and sound proof.
- Not all of those invited to the party drive, so I wanted a place that is accessible my matatu.
- Plus I love me a good car…
The Barista Lounge in Westlands was a no-brainer as it ticked all the above boxes.
My 40th birthday party decor elements
I always knew the kind of 40th birthday party I’d throw would one filled with glamour, glitz, and elegance.
So black and gold as the theme colors were quite a no-brainer for me.
As guests got to the venue, they walked into a photo booth area where several photographers took individual pictures of them as well as with me.
The Photoshoot
This was one of the highlights of my 40th birthday.
For the photo shoot, I had several 40th birthday themed props for additional pop…
Right after the photo booth I had a the signing station with a white personalized board/canvas with my image and a blue pen for guests to sign their birthday wishes.
Next to that was a table awash with welcome drinks – a blend of passion and orange, tropical and mango flavors – dressed in custom black straws with black flags embossed with gold write up.
At the entrance to the main venue, guests were welcomed to the party using this signage stand with gold write up and black balloons.
The staircase leading down to the main event venue was also decorated in black balloons.
I couldn’t find black serviettes in the market so I settled for navy blue ones with a ‘Eva’s 40th‘ written in gold.
For the table center pieces, I had small floral arrangements in bottles with burlap.
And all around the party scene I had random stands with baby breath floral arrangements.
Above, golden straw lamp shades in the shape of wreaths engulfed the entire transparent glass roof illuminating the party room with light.
I also had a graphic artist design my vision board (centers around three key passions: music, travel, and social media) which was also used for the 40th birthday party save the date fridge magnets, the 40th birthday party e-invites, as well as the screen saver at the party.
The main party
My 40th birthday party grand entrance
Guests started arriving from about 5:30 pm.
They sat on the white and green chairs set up for them at the main party venue.
After majority of the guests had arrived and we’d all had our photo shoots, everyone was ushered in to take their seats.
Sweet strains of classical music drifted through the room emanating from the violinist and pianist I had hired specially for this event.
At about 7 pm, the music stopped, and and the MC stepped up to the microphone and asked the guests to stand.
It was my turn!
“Good luck mama,” Hendrica, my event planner said as she left and made her way to the front.
Andy Grammer’s Good to be alive (Hallelujah) started to play.
The sound carried well from the speakers to where I was.
I wanted to make sure my 40th birthday party gets off to a great start, with a grand entrance.
I can’t think of a better song that would have helped set the tone for a 40th birthday entrance.
Down the aisle I came.
I only took three steps out before my 2 year old nephew joined me.
He escorted me down the aisle, which seemed longer than I’d imagined.
He became my strength.
The guests stopped talking to each other and all eyes were now on me. They took pictures and videos of me, waving at me, smiling at me.
All heads turned to face the far end of the entrance… .
The attention was too much for me to handle and I was just overwhelmed with all the love.
Everyone seemed so high on happiness.
I’d invited a small group of close family, friends, and work colleagues.
I could not believe how beautiful and gorgeous they all looked dressed in black and/or gold outfits to match the overall color scheme.
In keeping with the color scheme, I wore a black off-shoulder dress with a thigh-high slit.
This I paired with a black Chloe clutch with a gold handle.
I thought to myself how perfect and lovely everything was.
After I had walked all the way to the front, the MC asked everyone to sit down.
My sister-in-love then offered the opening prayer.
40th birthday party game
It was now time to play who knows the birthday girl best 40th birthday party game.
To start off, the MC divided the guests into about 5 groups.
He then asked 10 different fill in the blank questions about me, to which each of the groups was expected to answer to see who knows me the best.
The group with most correct answers became the winning team.
The prize for the winning team?
A photo with the birthday girl….lol!
The food
After the birthday game, my son prayed for the food and we all pounced on it.
The food catering came as one package with the venue.
As guests who had arrived mingled and waited for others to arrive and finish their photo shoot, they were served with a welcome drink, and samosa, nuts, and potato crisps.
Barrista Lounge did a great job and I would use them again.
Everyone had an option – both vegetarians and carnivores – and there was plenty of food to go around.
The 40th birthday party menu was composed of: two different types of fresh vegetable salad, creamed spinach, ugali, chapati, rice, wet fried goat meat, lamb chops, pan fried fish, and chicken.
My 40th birthday cake
I have always had a passion for travel among other finer things in life.
One time, having been laid off from a job that I loved so much, I suddenly found myself with so much extra time in my hands. So I started learning to play the violin. Who’d have thought I had it in me to be a violinist?
Since this party was all about me and my passions, I had a travel and violin themed cake for my 40th birthday.
The cake had 4 flavors – vanilla, chocolate, and coconut smothered in strawberry frosting.
It also had a ‘happy 40th birthday Eva‘ customized cake topper.
Speeches
After everyone had had their fill, it was now time for the speeches.
We wanted to keep it really short and sweet, so the MC asked one person from each of the representative age groups to give a piece of advise.
I sincerely appreciate all those who spoke and the nuggets of wisdom they shared.
My 40th birthday music playlist
To celebrate my 40th birthday, I requested a DJ friend to put together a throw back to my favorite memories.
The criteria I gave to him was quite simple: I wanted songs which as soon as people heard the intro, they’d immediately start shaking what their mama gave them. Nothing more nothing less.
And boy, didn’t he just come up with the perfect mix for my 40th Birthday playlist.
The selection of songs he came up with engaged all our senses and gave us all a really good time.
Mostly it was a mix of oldie but goodie classic hits as well as from the 21st century – lingala, blues, hip hop, dance hall, reggae, name it…
After finishing up the food, I opened up the dance floor and we danced the night away up to some time after midnight.
The gifts
For my 40th, I opted for a no gift birthday party.
And I have to say, it stands as one of the best decisions I ever made in my 40s…
But since I knew there are those who’d still insist on bringing a gift, I gave them the option to donate funds towards purchase of communication equipment for a mission hospital for which I volunteer.
I opted for the no gifts party for the following 3 main reasons:
- Over the 40 years I have been doing life, I had somehow collected so much stuff that I didn’t want to accumulate any more. I am currently trying to adapt to a minimalist lifestyle.
- There’s a lot of pressure that comes with picking birthday gift especially if you put enough thought into it. I therefore opted for a no-gift birthday party to take the pressure off guests running around to grab a gift they weren’t even sure I would like. Instead I let them focus on scouting for black and gold attire, and on enjoying themselves at the party.
- I wanted the party’s focus to be more about my guests having a memorable experience and there mere presence to me was more than enough. I couldn’t trade the time they sacrificed to be with me for any gift in the world.
Why black and gold for a 40th birthday theme color ?
Let me explain….
Growing up, I was surrounded with the all-too-accepted negative narratives about black such as black symbolizing shame, bad luck, sadness, death and mourning, the devil, backwardness, rebellion, crime, cruelty, and all those sorts of things you’ve probably read heard about, including ugliness!
Like even all bad things in the English language have the color black in them – blacklist, blackout, black market, blackguard, black sheep, black eye, etc…
People! This is my skin color we’re talking about here. My eye color. My hair color.
Like it breaks my heart every time I find myself on the back alleys of Nairobi starting from River Road and I have to wade my way through a pack of women all chanting ‘aunty, mafuta‘ – read, you’re too black we can give you oil to bleach yourself tomato red…
Being a dark skinned girl who considers herself successful, intelligent, independent, drop-dead gorgeous and also happens to love the color black, none of these narratives resonate at all.
Seriously, I beg to be educated.
What color on this planet adds an air of regal refinement to whatever it comes into contact with more than the color black?
And it doesn’t matter whether the point of reference is a tall dark handsome man or dark chocolate.
In fact research shows that the color black is what gives all other colors depth and variation of hue.
But I digress….
Anyho, I used my 40th birthday party as an opportunity to change this narrative.
It’d me my opportunity to focus on the positive narrative of the color black and the emotions and feelings that it evokes to me:
- Sophistication
- Glamour
- Elegance
- Prestige
- Strength
- Mystery
- Power
- Authority
- Sexiness
- Inconspicuousness
- Boosts my confidence in appearance, and
- Increases my sense of potential and possibility
In spite of all the above reasons, I’d still have picked black and gold anyway because this combination is just dope!
The verdict
I thank God and all who shared with me this memorable milestone birthday party.
Everything about my 40th birthday party turned out exactly as I had envisioned it all these years and I wouldn’t change a thing!
It was worth the wait…
You are so amazing Eva! My amazing is the real you. It is so natural
Beautiful ……Eva you just reaffirmed my identity and love for how God the perfectionist made me black, intelligent, and exquisitely gorgeous.
Thank you Maureen. You couldn’t have said it better